(An article submitted for approval and publication to this following site: http://pamilyarog.org/)
In movies, there are supporting actors for the main character of the story. In our life, there are also supporting actors who help us to face difficulties or “antagonists” in our journey. In line with this, let me tell to you the reasons why my parents are the “supporting actors” of my life, especially in my vocation.
At first, I was not one hundred percent sure of my decision to enter in the seminary. Though I passed the seminary’s qualification exams, I had the feelings of fear and resistance in entering the seminary. I had the second thought of finishing a higher education in an ordinary college school or in a university rather than attending seminary formation.
Before, my notions in order for me to become a seminarian are the following: first, I have to be very pious and very serious one; second, I must be perfect person without any defects nor weaknesses; third, I must be very intelligent and very hardworking person; and last, I must know everything about my Catholic religion (as if these notions were trying to say that those who became seminarians are “Supermen”; and they are already and automatically official members of the triumphant Church).
Nonetheless, seminary life, for me before, is somewhat in a place of pedestal. And therefore, I am not worthy of it because I am a sinner and a worldly nominal Christian.
My notions that I mentioned above caused me too much idealisms about seminary life. It caused me also discouragement and confusion, especially when I was looking mainly into my incapabilities.
On the other hand, I overlooked the “process” of formative experience that an aspirant will go through. I did not know, before, that there are formative stages that an aspirant will go through in order to attain the ideal life of a seminarian. I forgot to look “on the other side of a coin” of myself that tells me: “I have a chance to change my incapabilities to capabilities, and there is still hope if I feel that I am hopeless!”
I forgot to ask advice from others. I forgot to seek guidance from the “experts”. I forgot to consult my parents regarding the decision that I made. Above all, I forgot to pray for my decision. Consequently, my decision was “not to enter in the seminary… period!”
I did not know that my parents were just waiting of my decision. Afterward, they approached me and talked about my “apparently” final decision. It seems that they were not convinced of my decision as if reflected in their facial expression when I was explaining my plan to them.
In our family, my mother is one of the most influential persons when it comes to my decision-making. But oftentimes, I failed to follow all of her precepts (maybe because I am a stubborn child). Her wisdom about consequences of a particular decision is one of her gifts. She will be reminding me to think twice, thrice and so on, until I get the right decision for myself. She always reminds me to solicit the opinion of others so that I can make a firm and strong decision. With this, I am being reminded that “mom knows best!”
If my mother is one of the most influential persons when it comes to my decision-making, my father is one of the most supportive persons when I made a decision for myself. He will just say “yes” and affirm my decision as if I am not capable of committing mistakes. Oftentimes, he will just agree with my mom or he will just add something new to my mother’s precepts in order to suffice the advice.
Going back to my decision of not entering the seminary, my parents helped me a lot to finalize my “apparently” final decision. They gave me all the possible alternatives and its consequences so that I can arrive to a more firm and wise decision. For this particular moment, I listened and obeyed my parents' advice.
My parents helped me to discern “my wants and my needs” in relation to my career, and even to my vocation. They helped me to find the right persons (especially those who had experienced seminary life) to whom I can address more my concerns about such possibility to enter in the seminary. They accompanied me also in soliciting views to those who are active in our parish, particularly to our parish priest.
In my mind, I had enough data or information in order to convince myself to enter the seminary. Through consultation and sharing of those persons who experienced seminary life, they gave me a glimpse of its real situations that became also my realizations. These are the following: first, I realized that there are no very pious nor very serious seminarians inside the seminary, but they are striving to be one; second, I realized that there are no perfect seminarians inside the seminary, but they are trying defeating their defects or weaknesses in order for them to become perfect; third, there are no very intelligent nor very hardworking person inside the seminary, they are just doing their responsibility intelligently and painstakingly; and last, seminarians do not know everything about Catholic religion, but they know something about it by strong-mindedly studying about Catholic religion and trying hard to be witnesses of their faith.
My parents helped me to understand that seminarians are not “Supermen”; they are ordinary men doing ordinary things extraordinarily.
Now, seminary life is not anymore a place of pedestal. My parents explained that it is a pedestrian place for those who want to follow Christ (I think that makes a pedestrian a pedestal!). And still, I am not worthy to become a seminarian because I am a sinner and a worldly nominal Christian. My parents helped me to feel deep in my heart that God called me in spite of my defects, weaknesses, sins and being worldly nominal Christian. They told me that God is calling me to become a seminarian (not because I am worthy) but because, primarily, of His great love to me.
What do I have, then, to present in front of God in order for me to become a seminarian? Only the “openness” of myself is my offering to the Divine Invitation and nothing else.
I think I will not arrive in those realizations without the support and guidance of my parents. They played an active role as “supporting actors” in the long script of my vocation story. They were those persons who helped me to face my discouragement and confusion (who happened to be my antagonists) in my decision-making. Sometimes, my parents played also as my “make-up artists, floor directors, lights men, utility men and other functions in producing a movie” in order for me to make my decision more beautiful – and more challenging yet clear role.
But above all, my parents brought me closer to the Divine Director of my vocation. They taught me to listen to Him so that my actions will become more effective and worthy in His eyes. They taught me to talk personally with my Divine Director so that I may be accustomed following His direction – His Divine Plan.
Realistically, I became seminarian in a religious congregation of the Rogationist of the Heart of Jesus. I started my seminary formation last May 2000. I finished my philosophical studies in the said seminary last March 2004.
After the graduation, I continued my formation as one of the novices of the said congregation until November 2004. And then, I left out the novitiate on the said date for my vocation discernment “outside the seminary”.
At present, I am discerning my vocation into the way of life of diocesan priesthood at San Agustin Parish, Bay, Laguna. However, I am still open for the possibility of returning to the religious congregation of the Rogationist.
Even though there are “ups and downs” in the story of my vocation, I am rest assured of the full support of my parents.
Even though there are discouragements and confusions along the way, I am confident that I have parents who encourage me and help me to be firm in my decision.
Even though there are difficulties and “antagonists” included in the script of my vocation, I am very sure that I have parents as my “BEST SUPPORTING ACTORS” of my vocation.
So, lights… camera… action!
